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I need my friends to keep me saint.. I am so losing it.. I missed my friends.. I want to be happy again..
Next Wed pls come faster, also grant me the wish to do well too..
I am so bored…I need some change.. I need to meet new ppl and catch up with the old..
Bloody hell.. Every this period of the semester i will be so snappish, so burnout, so angry that i wanna slap ppl’s face. Funny thing is i am so angry yet there’s nothing i can do..
Since dun know how many semesters ago, i have been stuck with a bunch of grpmates who are just free-riders.. Everytime when it is THE period of project rushing, they can still have the time to do manicures and do shopping, go to town, etc.. WTF.. When ppl like me doing every shit jobs nobody bothers doing have to go to school without even sleeping 6 hrs, cant even draw my brows properly, have no mood at all to dress nicely.. You tell me how fair is this??
Ya i know you will tell me to go to the teacher or write a peer apraisal.. Firstly, being very pathetic and out of place in NUS, since we are the poly-ppl who are just being thrown into neither yr 3 nor yr 4.. So it ended up that we dun really have much friends and end up sticking to ourselves most of the time..Dun tell me to go make new friends or stuff cause you are not me and you dun know how tough it can get when firstly i’m not a nerd, secondly the kinda background and stuff and just so diff with those from JC..
Anyway secondly, the ppl already all have their clinques and groups already.. There is no where we can ‘leave’ this grp and join other ppl.. No way we can do things ourselves also since the min no is always 6 ppl, if we mentioned it to the lecturer they will only say no exceptions..
So excellent, i am stuck with them till the day i graduate.. I wonder how long more can i take before i finally explode..It has been getting from bad to worst.. Initially they just did lesser work, last min.. Now i think they realised that no matter whether they do ornot they will still hand up on time and get their marks since in the end the person rushing like mad to meet deadlines and staying up thru out the night is not them..Now they dun even do anything, contribute anything not even last min.. You know why?? Today is the last min, we have to hand up tomorrow and there are still alot left undone.. Greatest things right??
A few weeks ago , i even purposely delegate work to the 3 of them, they dun reply so you dun even know whether they are doing it or not. . I asked them last fri which was already very last min, they still say haven do.. See? My worst fears came true.. They never do anything and they never say, so in the end last min I have to do it..
Thank you very much and fuck everyone of your..
Its so strange to be looking forward to something so badly and didnt realised that it has passed by already..
Last Wed i was hoping so badly that it was Thurs.. Thurs i was wishing that it was fri.. Then when finally fri came, i realised the excitment that i anticipated could still be contained.. Maybe it was because i was freaking tired, because i woke up at 7am just to put on make-up and make myself presentable then i went for the 9am lesson which lasted 3 hrs.. I was nodding off every 15mins.. Then finally 12pm came and i flew down to orchard just to get some hair stuff from Jeffery the hairdresser.. Till then i was still ok..Then came the lazy afternoon, i was sitting outside Far East to wait for Aleste to come by to fetch us to the supermarket.. Finally, he came when i was almost half-dead.. So off we went to Suntec to get food.. It wasn’t as exciting as i thought it would be.. Anywya half the time i didnt know what i was doing or what i was supposed to do, as he is the ‘chef’.. I cant believe after walking here and there we still forgot so many things.. We even went to Parkway to get the remaining stuff.. In the end we still had to ask Chris they all to get those things we forgot.. Haiz..I was feeding mozzies at the pit by abt 5 plus..I thought it was fun to prepare for the thingys.. Maybe i have become really old and excitment is no longer the word for me.. It turned out that there wasnt alot of things to prepare la.. I really havent been to a bbq properly for ages.. So everything was ready for the party to begin.. The crowd only came abt 7 plus, by then i already had eaten the ’steak’ liao..
I guess the real excitment came when eve they all came, and also thanks to kai that the party was added with howls of laughters.. Next time have such events must rem to invite him..Hee.. We played silly games, but i guess everyone’s feeling older that we ended quite quickly, so the rest of the night was spent talking and talking.. Sadly the whole grp was splitted into two.. Didnt realised the time and it was 1am already…
The cake was too delicious to eat..
I searched 3 days for the darn bottle
I spent the night doing the bottle glitter thing..
I hope you like it and you will be happy as a whole..
Those were really the days..
Hello everyone, long time no see.. I haven been visiting here since like i dun know how long ago.. Well, i guess i’ve been busy or that i have been in a ‘no-mood’ state..
Well, those closer to me will have known that i have been thru some pile of shity events last month. I dun wanna talk abt it and i really just wanna erase everything that happened then. Everyone asked me if i’m ok and i said ok..But i seriously wasnt ok at all.. It have been some rough patch, perhaps the worst in my 22 worth of life.. now that i look back i wonder how i survive it and remain saint all these while.. Well, of cos i cannot forget and thank some ppl who had stood by me all these while enough.. I dun mention names because i hope your know that i am really grateful for every little things that your have done and every consoling words your have said.. I truely is indebted to you and i dun think i can ever thank you enough..You know, i wondered that time alone in darkness whether i can ever be the same cheerful and chirpy Sum Hsueh Er ever again after such unfortunate incident. Well, i need time..It has been all every sad because i was forced to give up things that i have loved just because of the uncertainty and the darkness that loomed in front of me.. Everytime i see a tiny flake of light something else would fall and cover me in darkness again..Do you know that feeling of utter sadness and bitterness? Perhaps that’s why i have been rather snappish. I apologise sincerely because i really didnt mean to do this or any of these to happen, i really hope that you, my friend, would understand and pardon me..For a point of time, i thought at last i’m living a contented and occupied life and that i finally had a chance to do those things that i used to only dream abt: Singing, performing, dancing..I was happy..But too bad, i guess i wasnt really suited to live such life as everything is now taken away from me..There is no doubt a tinge of regret, bitterness and disappointment, but i am still glad that he is still here and given a chance to relive his life..No doubt i am sad, but i am ready to give up everything if it means that everything can just go back to how it used to be.. Till now i realised that i’ve been so greedy..I have come to accept the fact and that i know everything is not a nightmare which i can wake up from..I just need time to stand up, face ppl and laugh again..I never knew till now how it feels to be so close to losing someone you love..Perhaps i needed this lesson for my to learn how to cherish better..But well, no worries, everything is fine now no doubt there will be scars.. I am well and kicking..
Ok enough of the dim side, looking on the bright side, i’m so looking forward to Sheen’s BBQ this fri!! I haven had a nice BBQ sesssion for a very long time.. The last time was the one at MS where i didnt get to eat alot of the things that i liked because well its a ’social’ event ma..Well, this time round it is close friends gathering!!Where i can eat with my fingers and smoke and drink like no mother business!!Yeah!! I love you ppl!!
If i’m not wrong this is the second time i actually ‘celebrated’ National Day in Phuture.. If i’m not wrong last year i went with the girls to Ikoi at Miramar before we went to Phuture or i think its Zouk..And i remembered that wasnt exactly a fun night..
Yesterday, surprisingly Clare asked me to join her..With 2 of the ex swiss ppl whom one happened to be her colleague..The Queue was horrible..We queued for quite sometime when the bouncers put up the Full House sign..I thought sianz already lor..But i guess alot of ppl also thought the same way and began to make their way to other places, dropping out of the queue..So very luckily we managed to get in after baking ourselves ripe outside..
Also very luckily, Colin managed to get in..MunWeng and Alvin are supposed to be able to get in too, but due to some mishappenings, ALvin could not get in with his "Velvet Chop" so both of them went to ButterFactory instead..Duhz..
Anyway, the ppl were so rowdy yesterday..Dun know what’s the prob.. Two fights straight in the nite..Its surprising for me cause i didnt know phuture was famous for fights..I think my feets are flatten by the hundreds of ppl squeezing left and right..Countless times my face and cheek were bashed by ppl, eyes nearly got poked like 20 times and i think i step on ppl’s legs like at least 50 times and ppl stepping on me like 80 times..Pengz..The music was better than fri or sat la but its simply too crowded that enjoyment is pretty impossible..Lucky Colin and bunch were there..Otherwise i think we will never walk out there still standing..Though Bernard and Leslie were fair ‘bodyguards’, i still think colin is better..Haha.. Thanks anyway..Too bad the rest didnt managed to join us though..
I’m officially taking out some of the names i used to list down as my friends..
Friends dun need to see each other often. Even if you see each other once in a year, as long as the feeling of friendliness is still the same and that you still care abt each other, you are still considered a friend..
However, even though some see each other often during group outings, yet they do dirty things behind they back and secretly hoping that the other will trip and fall, those i dun consider that friends..
True, to be exact, i never really had a thing abt anyone, any friends.. I’m always there, ppl will remember to ask me out during outings, that, i’m grateful..I’m writing this entry no because anyone in particular stepped on my tail or something.. But because i see things happening, whether who’s right and who’s wrong, or perhaps there is no such thing as right or wrong..
I just dun think its right to bitch abt your friends and write blur messages meant to hurt the person you categorise as friends.. Even if there are differences between friends or certain things you dun aagree with, you should not write rude messages or purposely exclude someone from something..
I used to think that i had the power to keep the group intact, but now i know i’m naive.. Maybe you’ve changed maybe i’ve changed.. No matter what, i believe this whole ‘girlfriend’ and ‘guyfriend’ issue will be one of the biggest regret in our lives.. Ya, i know you are rolling your eyeball now.. Perhaps you are thinking that we have think too highly of ourselves, and that you will not miss us even if we are gone.. Let’s hope there will not be this day where you look back and regret..
Yes, maybe nobody needs anyone, maybe you have better ‘friends’ out there.. So stop being a hypocrite and pretend nothing happened and that we are still going on group outings, becuase there is no group!!
Now i know why others hate us as an entity.. Initially i thought they hate us because we are living good and happy lives..Now i realised the true reasons..They hate us because we are all such losers, bimbos and bitches who only know how to curse and swear at others, when things goes wrong, its other ppl’s fault, never ours.. We think we are good, in fact, we are pathetic..Because we dun even understand a simple thing called friendship..
Hey btw there is something i’ve been hiding in my heart for such a fucking long time..I didnt wanna say it not because i am scared of losing them or something, its becuase i’ve not given up hope..I’m saying this only now because i’ve given up hope..
If anyone knows me, even for the first time, they would see that i’m straightforward.. Sometimes i get open abt things.. What do i mean by open.. While let’s take clubbing as an example.. I would dance with the guys in our group..Why?? Because i cheap and loose ah..Nono..If you think so, you are so fucking shallow.. My idea is to have fun if you go club, so i wouldnt want anyone to be excluded and i certainly dun expect them to be like bodyguards just standing outside the group.. So by dancing to you doesnt make my cheap or as what you think, loose..Come on, grow up can you?? So dun gimme that innocent fake face and try to act as if you shy or something, or that kind " why are you dancing up to me?? I’m very innocent and pure and i dun go for chickens" face!!
Ya you can gimme that face if you really do mean it and you are really what you say you are.. Not when you try to act innocent in front of others, yet behind you go for one night stands!!You have no right to gimme that face when i dun even go to bed with just anyone, no matter how they ’seduce’ me.. So cut the crap..
I dun wanna explain further or do anymore talking.. Gone is gone, what is left is the memories.. Maybe for you ppl its crap and you wouldnt even take a second glance at it, for me i choose to cherish it..
Got back here in boring singapore.. I have totally no mood to blog my taipei trip now because i am nursing my disgusting rashes on my freaking face.. It has been like that since the first day i arrived in taipei after washing my face.. I only know my face got freaking itchy after i washed my face there for the first time.. I didnt think anything abt that as sometimes my face gets a little sensitive when i change facial wash..
However, the itch persist throughout the trip until i realised to my horror my face is flaking off skin and pimple-like bumps are rising on my skin.. Shit.. It was so bad by the 5th day that i totally dun feel like putting make-up to prevent my skin from getting worst.. But still i did, cause i look like a freaking ghost after all the daily late nights.. Some more i got totally zonked out on the first nite in our hotel..
Now when i’m finally back in Singapore to ‘recieve’ treatment for my skin.. I put on a mask and some anti-bact stuff, my skin is finally showing signs of improvement.. At least the bumps arent so obvious anymore though my skin is still like very red and swollen like i drank alcohol.. Haiz.. I wished i could have my face back..I look like a freaking monster now.. Sianz..
I forgot to mention i am deaf again..Fucking hell.. I wonder if there is a problem with me.. Whenever my nose is block my right ear gets blocked too..Ending up like an idiot either speaking too loudly or too softly and i always have to ask ppl to repeat themselves..Fuck it..
You must be wondering how come i can wake up so early to blog rite? Well, i haven woke up so early for a very long time.. I only finally slept at i think 2 plus yesterday.. Which officially means that i only have abt 4 plus hrs of sleep.. Now i feel hungry and sleepy.. I am meeting CLaris later at 830am i know its very early for a 1pm flight.. but we are making things very early so that there wun be an screw-ups and we wun be running after our plane in the nice Changi Airport..
WEll, time for some explanations.. Bf is supposed to renew his COE somewhere before July, before it expires, if not the outcome is unthinkable.. Being him, he always like to last minute hug the buddha’s legs.. So he did it last night at 11 plus.. Very funny… In the end, something hung up so he didnt get to renew any shit.. So officially today before i fly off, i have to wake up at 7am to do this stupid thing otherwise the COE for next mth would be more ex.. Pengz.. He is already stupid enough not to renew the COE when it was 700 plus bucks a few mths back, now it is $1011, next mth its $1140.. In order to get the cheaper deal, we have to renew this mth.. Which means it very urgent cause by the time we come back its already June..
Anyway, the girlies are so super nice to celebrate su, juan and my bday together on Sat.. What the?? See?? i knew there was something fishy going on..Your still tell my non of my business.. Kaoz.. Anyway we went to some Italian restaurant at China Sq.. The food was ok, environment ok but it was freaking hot.. And we were all melting when an ‘Ang-Mo’ came over to talk to Bronzee.. We were initially taken back, personally i thought he was just coming over to chit-chat abit because he’s high on alcohol.. You know how they can drink.. though its only 6pm that time.. Anyway, he begin chatting with us for a pretty long time, so we decided to ask him to sit down with us.. He is a really funny guy, named Micole/Nicole.. I did really got it.. Anyway these ppl are always more fun compared to local guys, though there are some nice ppl out there too, just that i haven met many.. The prob is, even Micole/Nicole said the same thing abt local guys: They dun know how to be romantic and nice to a girl, for example, they do not praise the girl or dun even realised that the girl did something differnet to her hair or her dress.. Something like that.. I am sure you all agree cause i do have the common frustration.. Then he was talking abt Singaporeans having the habit of chasing MRT trains when the train is gonna wait for them.. To him its totally un-class.. So embarrassing..I am embarrassed for the image Singaporeans are creating to the foreigners.. Anyway, seeing that he is such a nice company, we invited him to our Wine Session with us at WineBos..He really did came, it was nice and cheery, everyone was laughing hard at his jokes.. I can only say the caucasians, they are really animated and interested in whatever you are saying, which makes it extremely nice to talk to one.. What can i say, they are really nicer than local guys.. In terms of being a gentleman, being romantic, everything.. Haiz.. So local guys, you would wanna keep up, otherwise all the Singaporean girls are gonna be taken by our new foreign friends..Now we’re really ‘Atas’ cause we have an Italian friend!!BTW he’s really handsome, in a cool and rugged sort of way, and i believe he’s got a hot body..You should look at his arms.. If he were to be my bf, i would never feel that i have fat arms..Haha..Ok girls i know your laughing rite..SOrry la, i am not having a crush on him..*though i may consider if he’s after me!!* LOL
Ok time’s abt up..I am going off to meet Claris and have my long-awaited breakfast.. Cheers!! Goodbye Singapore and NARUWAN Taipei.. Soon, in another 8 hrs..Love ya girls!!!
LOL.. this is what you hear on tv rite? Ya instead of watching taiwan thru a tv i can finally go there physically now!! Counting down.. Tick-tok tick tok.. 5 more days i’m getting my ass out of here..
Been doing alot of researching and planning..Roughly know where to go and what to do already..But the damn thing is everytime i search the web everytime i’ll find something new and interesting.. God damn it.. 6 days arent gonna be enough..
Still.. so exciting..So places must visit, some places visit if got time.. I am so excited.. I thought i didnt have a heart cause i wasnt excited till this week.. All the way i was just treating the entire affair with normal heart i wasnt excited or anything.. I thought i am abnormal.. Till yest, when i woke up and realised that next week the same time i’ll be on a plane off..Yippy!!
This whole feeling is supposed to be part of the entire trip..The suspense the excitement..OMG!!!
So ladies and gentlemen, if you crave anything from Taiwan and wish that i can get it for you, pls tell me earlier k and gimme money too.. Cause i dun even have enough to spend myself..Cheers!!
Second excitement.. I’ll be having my first ever performance in front of total strangers, acting as if i knew something..Haha.. MS open house..Totally excited, but i am so afraid i’ll make a fool of myself.. If its only me it wun be so bad, but i am supposed to sing with 2 other girls..Its not the singing anymore but the click and mutual understanding between us.. Well, i’ve only gonna try my best and hope it’ll be good..Cheerros!!!
